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| Oh,
oh,
I
know
a
good
one!
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customer: hi, um, what's my password again?
me: uh.. you forgot your password?
customer: yeaahh for e-mail i think.
me: um okay.. maybe i have it in my organiser. could you open the e-mail program?
customer: well.. won't i need the password to that?!
me: usually, no. go ahead and open the e-mail program. what e-mail program do you use? outlook or thunderbird?
customer: i don't know! all these things are so technical! i only want to know my password...
me: yes and i'm trying to help you here, but first of all i'd like to know which e-mail address you need the password for. and since you have a few set-up in your e-mail program, we'll first have to find out for which e-mail account you need a password.
customer: ...um i don't really know. don't you know?
me: we can find out if you'll just start the e-mail program. so, please go ahead and open it.
customer: so which do i open? outlook or thunderlook?
me: you either have outlook or thunderbird - please look on your desktop. the desktop is the area you get on your screen when you switch the pc on.
customer: okay.. hold on............
me: *patient*
customer: okay it's rebooting now.
me: that was not necessary.... but alright, we'll go with that. now just wait and let the computer do its thing.
customer: okay. are computers always so slow when they start?
me: unfortunately the two minutes it requires is something you have to live with. ofcourse, you did not really have to reboot the computer at all to get to your e-mail program, but since you have, we'll just wait it out.
customer: oh heh.. well alright, we'll just wait it out! (cheers for the brave attitude)
me: *patient*
customer: um.. i'm not seeing the thing i'm supposed to see. what do i do now?
me: what do you mean not seeing the thing- -oh wait. could you check the front of the pc? is the 'power' light on?
customer: yeah, it's orange.
me: that's the monitor. i meant the big rectangular block under your desk.
customer: ah.....hold on..... *noises of person getting off his chair and pushing things aside to find the mystical computer*
me: *patient*
customer: ah. YES it is NOT on.
me: please push the power button on the computer.
customer: but you told me never to do that when the pc was on.
me: trust me... you can push it now. the pc is not on right now.
customer: but it's in the middle of rebooting.
me: (no it's not you stupid idiot, you switched it OFF instead of rebooting so just push the fucking button so we can get on with it!!) please push the button now.
customer: okay... ah...... now i'm seeing things.
me: *goes into zen-mode to find the strength to carry this conversation on* okay we'll just wait until the desktop shows up.
customer: okay...................................there it is. oh no wait, now it's gone again. now it says "welcome"..
me: that's normal, the computer always does that. after the 'welcome' you will get to see your desktop. on it you will find either something called outlook or thunderbird. please tell me which one.
customer: i've got thunderbird on my desktop.
me: please start that program.
customer: but i don't have the password..?..??
me: please..just go ahead and start that program. (if this guy takes a wrong turn one more time i'm going to come over there and fix it myself)
customer: takes a while.. it usually never takes this long!
me: did you DOUBLECLICK the icon?
customer: what icon?
me: sorry, i meant.. did you DOUBLECLICK on THUNDERBIRD?
customer: yeah.. i'll try again..ah... it's doing something now.
me: great. do you get a small message window asking for a password?
customer: no... i can't find it.
me: that's okay, if you can't find it, it means you don't need to enter your password since it's been stored by the mail program.
customer: *sigh* so how can i get my e-mail now? should i use webmail or something?
me: you should be getting your e-mail messages on your screen right now, in the 'inbox'.
customer: what's the inbox?
me: it's the folder you see in the lefthand panel of your mail program called "inbox". it should be selected now.
customer: it is..
me: then your e-mails will be displayed in the top right panel right now.
customer: yes.. i got that far before. i see new and old messages. so where does my password come in?
me: ......um....well... (trying to figure out a way to tell the person what happened without exploding and saying you stupid asshole that's how it works, your e-mail program stored your password for you so you don't have to enter it every time - you don't NEED your password, you've never needed it to read your e-mail!)
customer: i'm going to try to start thunderlook again.
me: um.. no that's not necessary! really .the program is working fine. it is working exactly as it should. in order to allow you to work without having to enter the e-mail password all the time, the program remembers the e-mail password FOR you. so it's in the program and the program takes care of it for you. and you are receiving your e-mails. so everything is working fine.
customer: i don't understand! i'm not getting the "whats your password" window here! my colleague gets it every time!!
me: AH YES! BUT! that colleague of yours has requested that i lock out any unauthorized users from using his e-mail accounts. so i put a password on his e-mail program entirely - in order to start the program you need to enter the right password.
customer: so why does his program work and mine doesn't?
me: i assure you.. your e-mail program works as designed.
customer: well it's an awful design if you ask me.
me: well, i didn't invent e-mail, but i can assure you that most of the world uses e-mail in exactly the same way that you do right now. and it works.
customer: and you can't make it better? i mean.. you're pretty smart and all. i bet you could make a lot of money by making it better.
me: um, no thanks. look, i have to go. your e-mail program is working fine, so unless you have any other problems, i really gotta go now.
customer: oh! alright. sorry to have kept you. bye!
me: BYE
*click*
GAH!
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(VISITOR) AUTHOR'S NAME
NovaFlash
MESSAGE TIMESTAMP
15 november 2007, 21:30:22
AUTHOR'S IP LOGGED
127.0.0.1
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