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lesson
3-22
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A compliment is a difficult thing to accept in today's society. Considering how much sarcasm there is, it is much safer and easier to assume that someone is trying to insult you than to accept that that person is trying to give you a compliment.
There are a few rules here that you must keep in mind. A compliment from a man to another man is always gay. A compliment from a woman to another woman is an insult, unless it is given near a mirror while both are doing their make-up or selecting good clothes to wear. A compliment from a woman to a man never means she wants to have sex with you, unless she literally says she wants to have sex with you, and even then don't assume that that was what she meant to say. A compliment from a man to a woman is the worst mistake a man can make.
For a man to give a compliment to a woman is .. well it is kind of like a quantum state measurement - once you've measured how fast a particle is going, you do not know it's exact position, and vice versa. So it is with women - once you know in what emotional state she is in, you won't know what position you have to take in order to try and please her. Whatever position you do take, it will be the wrong one.
The only man to ever successfully have made a compliment to a woman was Adam. That was the first time he ever tried. Since then, Eve learned her lesson and so have all women inherited it.
Scene 1:
man compliments man
man 1: "hey your hair looks great!"
man 2: (wtf? i'm gonna SHAVE my hair next thing tomorrow!)
man 2: "uh.. whatever man. get away from me."
Scene 2:
woman compliments man
woman: "hey your hair looks great!"
man: (she noticed me! she must really like me!)
man: "thanks! hey, wanna go to my place and fuck?"
Scene 3:
woman compliments woman
woman 1: "hey your hair looks great!"
woman 2: (wait..what? she's making a compliment about my hair? where's the mirror... i've got to look at it myself..damnit! no mirror! oh the evil bitch, she's trying to make me uncertain! she wants to blow this big date I have in a few minutes, I HATE HER)
woman 2: "oh? oh really? thanks, hun! um.. listen, i gotta go. call ya later, k? byee!"
Scene 4:
woman compliments woman... with mirror
woman 1: "hey your hair looks great!"
woman 2: (wait..what? she's making a compliment about my hair? where's the mirror.. oh... hmmmmm it doesn't REALLY look nice... it sure looks a lot better than that turd she has on her head... i can't believe her husband can stand that hair! well, hehehe, her gardener obviously doesn't mind! I suppose compared to her hair my hair looks great!)
woman 2: "why thank you! i had it done at Charles Coupes downtown. It was like SOOO expensive, but, I figured, what the hell! I'll spoil myself rotten. I've got a big date with Billy, you know Billy? That STUD from the studio? You must have seen him around sometime. He's the one with the curly chesthair and the firm BUTTOCKS and that cute laugh! I'm so going to make him beg for me tonight! Wish me luck!!"
woman 1: *giggles* ohhh youu!!
Scene 5:
The death scenario
man compliments woman
man: "hey your hair looks great!"
woman: "FUCK OFF YOU CREEP!!"
man: "what the.. i was only saying your ha-"
woman: "RAPE!! RAPE!! HELP ME!!! POLICEE!!!"
(rest of scene 5 cut due to restrictions imposed by justice department pending outcome of court case L42663 New York state department)
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(VISITOR) AUTHOR'S NAME
NovaFlash
MESSAGE TIMESTAMP
13 february 2008, 08:09:53
AUTHOR'S IP LOGGED
127.0.0.1
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