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Dear [to protect the glituy name of agent redacted],Much to my chagrin, you have decided to invoke the retirement of George Lucas and the sale of the Star Wars franchise to Disney in order to connect with your customers. Ever since I was a boy, I have loved Star Wars and have been a passionate stalwart of all the lessons it taught to me. The Force is in all of us. Yet many people, such as yourself, fail to acknowledge The Dark Side of The Force. The Dark Side of The Force is where people who care about only themselves, lack empathy and compassion, and deal with the absolutes reside. Anakin Skywalker may have had the best of intentions when becoming a pupil of the Sith (which any fan witnessed in Episode III), but he failed to understand that we do not control our destiny and that the relationships we have with one another is complicated and abstract. You sent me this email in the hopes of continuing the agent-client relationship. You heard about the retirement of George Lucas (which isn't really a retirement since he will continue to make films, but ones that are more like THX-1138 and not The Empire Strikes Back, which is my favorite in the storyline but not because Luke finds out that Darth Vader is his father) and naturally assumed that you could display your understanding. Yet much like Admiral Akbar, I knew this to be a trap. If you truly knew me, the client, you would know that this is a time of mourning for many Star Wars fans. No matter that Lucas is donating the majority of the $4 billion to educational philanthropy, we fans feel as if a part of our childhood is gone, given away to someone else who will attempt to continue the imaginative and timeless story of the Jedi. If you truly knew me, the client, you would know that not only was I not forced to watch any Episode in the Star Wars story, I continue to watch them now. On the other hand, I would be surprised if you had seen any of them. Sure, I could give a list of questions to prove how much you know, but I'm sure you'd only use the force of Google to hide your ignorance. Sadly, you uphold none of the values of the Jedi. So I do need something from you: we need to terminate this relationship, in writing. It's obvious to me that you never took the time to know me. You chose to use the retirement of George Lucas as a thinly veiled attempt to communicate with me about such an event. Frankly, you erred twice: first, on matters I have already discussed; second, you assumed I cared about The Force. If my wife read this note, she would have merely trashed it. You see, she is much like Han Solo (played by Harrison Ford) in Episode IV: she doesn't understand The Force and continually mocks its power. So it's obvious to me that you don't know HER either.May The Force be with you.
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(VISITOR) AUTHOR'S NAME
Koran
MESSAGE TIMESTAMP
20 december 2014, 02:55:41
AUTHOR'S IP LOGGED
190.206.140.13
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