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Part 1 (just kidding!)This is so rfsieehrng!While much (well, everything I've seen) of everyone's critique of myself is not something I haven't heard before I both appreciate it AND the fact that you all do seem to posit it without any tinge of anything remotely approaching a malevolent spirit.I think my boringness' is emergent from the fact that part of my desire to post things on YouTube has a relationship similar in nature (or perchance it's just my wishful thinking that this be the nature of the thing) to that which I have with my closest friends. I have a few good friends with whom I enjoy discussing things, even things we greatly disagree on, we both cut each other slack in presentation. It's clear I take too many liberties in using YouTube more for my own gratification than to actually get my message out. Perchance it's the wrong attitude but I've generally only taken the time to converse in depth with people who are not too put off with my capacity to present it. I know that YouTube and a face to face conversation are far far from being the same.This brings to mind the seeming dichotomy that I've found very present in, especially, Mormon Culture. On the one hand we are berated (see Brigham Young's jabs at this) for being an extremely boring people able to withstand excrutiatingly boring (and far far too often pointless or not sufficiently pointed) meetings. But juxtaposed to the idea of not being a people pleaser. Nibley's thrashings of virtually all things rhetorical whilst he (in my opinion) brandy's about his own style of rhetorical flare. I suppose it comes with the territory of trying to find the balance the gospel is centered around. We're to follow Paul and fashion ourselves, our presentation, and our message to others, and at the same time we're to present our real selves, to not be artificial. We're not to be hypocrites but we're also not suppose to reprove betimes (often) with sharpness (accuracy and potency) all without loosing any love, in fact seeking an increase in such, toward those we are effectively judging.This whole balance and perceived dichotomy hit me like a brick when I put together one concept, lawyer jokes, and one of the titles of Christ, The Advocate. Granted Christ is the archetypal every person for those willing and/or wanting to see it.I hope the tone of my typing isn't boring y'all ;)I'm living up to my reputation.Now I've just got to decide how to go forward. If no one watches, and if those who do watch are universally turned off by what I say then perchance I should more seriously revisit my reason for doing it. The more I look at it I see that between my drive to pack as much in (keeping the production time on my end to a minimum whilst sacrificing on the outward general appeal) so that I can comment on more things, get more done,' I have to second guess if I'm doing it more for me or what?I'll leave you all with a thought that's been bouncing through my head these last few days.I've thought a great deal about hidden sparks. By hidden sparks I mean individuals or seeding points or initial causes (that one's a little loaded) that we either don't see, or didn't see, that lie behind the surface of history, pre-history etc.. One of the things about the gospel that's most excited me (a dweeb who likes to read dictionaries, almanacs, primary sources of all types, reference materials in general) is the possibility to learn the story of the countless hosts that the world doesn't have a clue about. Serfs or herdsmen tucked away in some point in humanity that, to the passing observer of things would make them effectively non-existent. Yet everything has an impact. In thinking about this I naturally feel inclined to desire, for good or bad, to be closer on the spectrum to a hidden spark. And I think this is where some of my apathy (again for good or bad, I'm not going to pretend to know for sure the relative good or bad I'm actually doing, I learned long ago it's far far to easy for us to deceive ourselves) comes from. since the causative end of a vector is not what determines the net influence of that particular initial alteration then I'm happy thinking that my efforts may, just may, cascade through the connections that make up existence. I don't care much if I'm ever visible to the GUI users, the idea that I might just be some critical subroutine, or even a part of a line in such, that's enough for myself.Lame excuse. Sorry.But thanks everyone for the civil and engaging dialog!So to Rex, Ty, Robert, Socal and everyone thanks! It's nice to at least find somebody talking about me without employing colorful metaphors!(keeping with tradition I didn't proof this, sorry well I guess I'm not really, otherwise I'd just proof it but I'm frigg'n tired and better get to bed so I don't look more totally out of it than I normally do in Church, and so I make it there on time.)
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(VISITOR) AUTHOR'S NAME
Haldy
MESSAGE TIMESTAMP
19 december 2014, 17:30:32
AUTHOR'S IP LOGGED
190.39.53.70
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