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Just
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thought--I
fe
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Just a thought--I feel like your wiirtng tends toward melodrama, especially in moments like "my obese cat" etc. The comparison is easily understood; you don't have to beat it into the ground with additional detail or overwrought adjectives.There's also glaring moments of redundancy: "So I was left tossing and turning alone next to a slumbering husband, and naturally began thinking up a downright cool story idea that I began narrating to myself in my head." It's obvious he's slumbering, first of all. "thinking up" and "in my head"--you only need one phrase to get the job done.I know this is probably just an off-the-cuff blog post, but meant as constructive criticism.
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(VISITOR) AUTHOR'S NAME Kfa
MESSAGE TIMESTAMP 16 december 2014, 18:25:33
AUTHOR'S IP LOGGED 62.210.78.179
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