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I was with my girlfriend Jenny for I don't know how many years. I really don't, because we were best friends since 1985, and I really don't know when we transitioned from being just best friends to girlfriend and boyfriend. I loved her madly, and she loved me madly. However, she was not without her problems. She had numerous mental and psychological problems stemming from her family. Her mother was an alcoholic with some serious other issues, which caused her to not be able to hold down a steady job for more than a month. Her father literally had a split personality. The combination of the two caused her grandmother to file for and get custody of her at a very early age. However, her grandmother wasn't much better. Her grandmother was mentally sound, but was a giant control freak, and she wanted to run every single little aspect of Jenny's life. So, Jenny was messed up in the head from all this. She had learning difficulties, and her social life was screwed. She had a poster of New Kids on the Block that she carried around everywhere. It was covered in masking tape, except for a postage-stamp-sized area with Joe McIntyre's face. She would carry it around everywhere and talk to it. She'd go berserk if you tried to take it away. (The one time I did, she ripped up my shirt (that I was wearing) in an attempt to get it back.) This was her "friend" in her mind. This wasn't just a juvenile thing, either. She kept it as far as I know until 2005 or 2006, when she was 25 or 26 years old. This was a significant mental problem.
Relating to that, she found a Joe McIntyre club on the Internet. It totaled 6 people, including her. She met a friend named Cyndi there and twice, they went to Boston to see Joe McIntyre. They both bought a dozen roses and left them at his house. They went to all his concerts in the Boston area. Jenny ended up racking up a $10,000 bill in one week through that, and that happened twice.
She is also a very needy person, was prone acting on severe whims, is horrible at managing money, and is very competitive. (That last one is something I suspect you relate to.) Because I was training to go into the computer programming field, she wanted to go to college and do the same. However, the issue I had with that was that computer programming has a deep background in mathematics and logic, and I was struggling to teach her algebra. So I saw it as being akin to a cat having aspirations of flying. There's a very slim possibility, but it's probably better to look at something realistic. Well, she got extremely upset that I was "killing her dreams" or something like that. Well, then, a couple weeks later, she was fired from her data-entry job. She came to me crying about it. She claimed not to know why they would fire her. I asked her if there was anything that she might have noticed or done recently that might have triggered it. She said she had a panic attack and didn't come into work for a week. I told her that was why they fired her. She said, "Well, I called every morning telling them I wasn't coming in."
Shortly after that, I stopped hearing from her for about two months. No returned phone calls or emails. Nothing. Then, I get a call from her. She's up in Canada. She went up there because she said she was in love with a guy, mainly because he was "exotic." (The guy is Native American. That's about the opposite of exotic, since they were here before white folks.) Well, anyway, he told her straight up that it wasn't going to be serious. It was only going to be for a few months, then they were through. And that's exactly what she got. While I respect the guy for being honest, I asked her why she got involved with him in the first place. She said, "Well, I LOVE him, and I thought I could change him." Also, she wanted $600 from me, because she claimed that someone crashed into her, and she used up all the money she saved for driving back down to Baltimore on the car repairs. Well, when I got her to tell my mom what happened, she told my mom a slightly different story, and that was when I knew she was lying about all that. She probably spent all the money shopping or something, and then realized, "Oh yeah... I need gas to get back."
I pretty much broke off contact with Jenny at this point, stranding her in Canada. She had to live with her friend for a while. Somehow, she came back, cashed out some insurance policy she had, and went back to Canada, where she claims to studying to become a pharmacist.
Now, did it hurt to break it off with Jenny? Yes. Severely. The pain has not gone away to this day. It has lessened in time, but it is not completely gone. But, it was for the best. My emotional and psychological health has greatly improved since I've stopped being with her. The love and heartache won't simply be gone one day. It will slowly fade, and I suspect it will never stop until you find someone else you love.
If you think you can change someone, you're wrong. You can't change anyone, and people don't change unless they themselves want to change. You can't do the change for them. The only way Cedric will change his ways is for Cedric to WANT to change his ways, and you've implied that he doesn't want to.
From what you have said, it seems like you did the right thing by breaking up with him. The right thing sometimes hurts, though. We will be here for you to help you with your pain, if you need us.
"Stupidity is no excuse!"
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AUTHOR OF THIS MESSAGE
Admiral Memo
MESSAGE TIMESTAMP
21 may 2010, 09:20:52
AUTHOR'S IP LOGGED
72.85.8.205
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