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Ouch. I have quite a few of these friends - people I really like, but...errr...don't seem to feel the same friendship towards me. It's awkward and lonely.
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They've basically defined my entire life. There's a reason my LJ friends page is called "people I follow to feel liked", which was a rather painful self-realisation I had when I had just started uni.
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I know just what you're going through, but don't have an answer for you. I wish I did. I don't make friends easily. Just lots of acquaintances....
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I'm great at making friends within work (be it professional or academic) contexts. I've just never succeeded in transferring that outside. There's one girl at work who I get one with really, really well and I'm trying to screw up the courage to just say "look, I really like you, I know you like me, we had fun that time we went to the cinema, we have fun together at work, I want to see you more" but it feels uncomfortably like asking her out on a date! And partly I really want to do it now because she's moving to my city, having just split up with her fianc?, so I suspect this would be a really good time for her to have other people around.
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You could try re-opening the lines of communication, seeing if something develops?
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Weeell, it's a bit of a moot point. The trigger was a couple of uni friends posting a video of... I guess outtakes is the best word, from a film they're making together. I miss the whole university experience. If I still lived in the same city I'm sure I'd still be making films with these guys, but I don't so I can't. And really, that was the relationship I had with them. One of them I pursued for all three years, never really screwing up the courage to say "I really want to be friends" - we were in roughly the same friendship group, both were members of the badminton soc, occasionally used to catch the same train to work during our internships. But as he went increasingly towards theatre and I increasingly towards film/tv, we never worked together again after the first semester. The other guy I worked with in first year, but didn't particularly get to know until the final semester when we made our graduate film, spending up to 60 hours a week together for 4 months. Understandably we got quite close, especially in all those 15 hour days in the edit suites with only each other for company/sanity. And then one Friday in May I handed in my final project, packed everything into the back of Dad's car and left that life behind. The last memory I have of my various uni 'work friends' (who, at this point, I was much closer to than my 'actual' friends) is standing in the quad in the rain, having all just handed our final work in and being at something of a loose end. We joked about a film idea based on all the roles one guy had played in various short films over the years. I can picture exactly where we stood, exactly which direction I was facing. I can only remember two of the people who were present. And that was it. We disbanded, I walked home and it was all over. (I saw some of them at graduation, but I was deeply depressed at the time. I stressed so much about going to graduation because I hadn't got a job yet - only to get there and hear the (probably exagerrated) rumour that only 1 of the 80 or so of us had so far got a job in the industry.)
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AUTHOR OF THIS MESSAGE
admin
MESSAGE TIMESTAMP
28 march 2010, 01:56:18
AUTHOR'S IP LOGGED
83.100.248.248
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