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of
the
Scariest
Days
of
my
Life
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Yesterday started out like any other day. I went to work. I had a doctor's apt at a quarter to 2, and my boss was completely understanding about me disappearing for an hour or two to get the weird chest pains and difficulty breathing I'd experienced since the weekend taken care of.
None of us knew it would turn into a five hour ordeal. I arrived at the doctor's and talked to the nurse, who told me I'd probably get a breathing therapy. That didn't sound too bad. It was designed to open up your lungs, and sounded just fine to me. She took all my vitals, and I was feeling fairly confident that I had a lung infection and would need antibiotics for a bit to take care of it.
Then, the doctor came in, and we chatted. She decided she wanted an xray. Again, I was perfectly calm about this, and almost expected it. She told me I was going to have a lot of blood tests, but that's normal for me for an annual visit. Lots of weird things run in my family, so I have to constantly keep myself in check.
After the xray, a woman came and took my blood, and then the doctor came back in to ask me what I was doing the rest of the day. I explained my two-job situation to her, and said while the day-job probably would not mind me not coming back, the one expecting me at 5, my on-call job, might not.
"If I told you this was potentially life-threatening, would they understand?"
"It is?" was my stunned reply.
She then explained that there was something up with my right lung on the xray, and she wanted me to have a CT scan IMMEDIATELY to determine if it was a potentially life-threatening blood clot in my lung. They scheduled me for 4:45 pm, gave me a few moments to call work to let them know.
I called, and the woman in scheduling immediately told me it was no problem, and called my father for me, knowing I wasn't supposed to be on the phone at the doctor's office. I texted my husband, who just HAPPENED to have his one half day of the month yesterday (Praise You LORD!) and texted my mom and baby brother (ok, he's almost 21) to give them the lowdown.
I was scared half to death. Just the immediacy of this test! It couldn't wait until tmra, because if there was a blood clot, I would need to be hospitalized immediately.
With all my family at LEAST facing a half hour drive to get to me, I called them when I got out of the doctor's office around 3:15pm. I'd been there an hour and a half...
I went to a little diner down the street to eat, noting how horribly I was shaking, and figuring having low blood sugar (I'd last eaten at 11) wouldn't help my nerve at the 4:45pm test. I ate eggs benedict, a favorite, and then my husband and father arrived at the diner. Mom wasn't far behind, but my husband followed me back to my doctor's office to get my prescriptions worked out for steroids and antibiotics, and then he followed me to the hospital.
Mom met Dad at the diner, and he followed her over, since she knew where the hospital was, and he didn't.
In the waiting room, mom told me what was going to happen while Dad futzed about, looking for some literature to read. It wasn't that he didn't trust my mom (she's had one done before), but he wanted it from a higher source, and I got that mentality very well, so I asked the receptionist to give him a rundown.
Matt just sat there, stroking my hand as we answered the millions of texts, phonecalls, and emails from my amazing friends and family. My stepbrother, who has suffered from heart problems and gone through many surgeries throughout his life, told me I wasn't supposed to be the one in the hospital, to which each of us got a good laugh. I remember many times being at the hospital for him.... lots of people told me it would be ok, and one friend told me to "Break a leg." I cracked up.
My girlfriend, who lived down the street, offered to bring us food, and everyone was just, generally, amazing. I've never felt more loved in all of my life.
When I went in for the test, I was relieved to see I wouldn't have to strip down, but the needle HURT going in. I have extremely sensitive skin, and that needle was LONG. Then, they had me hold my arms over my head, and that hurt after a while because I have weak arms due to permanent nerve damage sustained at birth...
I nearly squealed when the dye went into my bloodstream. That actually hurt. I know I'm a big baby, but he didn't tell me when it was going to happen. I just FELT it.
After the test, we waited around 45 minutes for the results, wondering if I was going to have to be hospitalized. I started thinking about my life, and if I was nearing the end, what I would want to do. I decided I would quit work and concentrate on my screenplays. Of course, I didn't take into account that I'd then have no health insurance, but it made sense in my head at the time.
Finally, word came back from my doctor that though there was some abnormal stretching, they thought that came from how hard I'd been working to breathe... and there was no clot.
My mother, father, and husband hugged and kissed me, and we all made phonecalls and sent texts to all the amazing people across the country praying for me.
God's grace is amazing, and the love of such wonderful people was encouraging and beautiful. It was one of the scariest days of my life, but I don't think I can ever again doubt how loved I am. That's the most beautiful thing I've taken out of the experience.
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(VISITOR) AUTHOR'S NAME
Muffy
MESSAGE TIMESTAMP
05 december 2008, 06:02:36
AUTHOR'S IP LOGGED
70.160.84.227
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