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now
turn
to
Amanda
Deel
Do
for
the
latest
on
this
breaking
development!
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ADD: Thanks, Charlie! I'm currently inside the residence of Mr. Underwood and have just been granted an exclusive interview! Mr. Underwood, how could you possibly have forgotten about a dick-measuring thread that you had, in essence, started between yourself and your long-time rival, Mr. Dra--Dra--...Whatever?
RAU: Well, Christmas vacation is coming up and I've been gearing towards that. With my focus on family members this time of the year, I spend less time online than I usually do. Sure, I'll pop in about once a day, but around this time, I'm only looking at new threads instead of those I've participated in. I just so happened to have a little more time that particular day to notice that I actually had a response to my comment. I had no idea it would be by Whosiwhatsit and by the time I found out that this was to be another pissing contest, my interest in the thread had completely left me in lieu of my trip.
ADD: What would you say to those that claim you're only feigning disinterest in this thread due to the fact that your rival had won the heart of a certain member that you've been lusting toward for so long?
RAU: I'd tell them to join the writing staff of a soap opera; such talent shouldn't be going to waste. I mean, how else could you even come up with something like that unless you had an overactive imagination?
ADD: You're saying it's not true, then?
RAU: Absolutely. Long-distance relationships never work, and she's not even my type, anyway.
ADD: I'm sure many people would find that very hard to believe.
RAU: That's OK. I know I'm right, and that's good enough for me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have money to budget.
ADD: There you have it! Mr. Underwood is a dying breed of man who's entire life doesn't revolve around the internet! If I had a penis, I would salute him! This is Amanda Deel Do, signing off!
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AUTHOR OF THIS MESSAGE
Robwood
MESSAGE TIMESTAMP
16 december 2007, 13:09:04
AUTHOR'S IP LOGGED
127.0.0.1
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